Now, just hold on a minute please. I need you to suspend your disbelief for a little while and hear me out. That title probably has you a little hot under the collar, so sit down, fix yourself a stiff drink – if you don’t drink, you really should – and just hear me out, man. ‘Man’ here being a catch-all term for women, who I assume are this website’s primary audience. Because men in this instance are secondary. Just like in life, right girls? Right! Aaaand now that I’ve got you back on side, let me explain what I mean when I say men age better than women.
1. Make-up
Most women spend years and years (and years) wearing make-up. I contend that it can’t be that great for your skin to have layers of powder, cream, mud and clay slathered all over it every day. Imagine lying in bed and the second you wake up somebody smothers you with a pillow for 12 hours, possibly longer if you’re going out that night. It’s basically the same thing as wearing make-up, and by same I mean identical in every respect.
Deb’s debate:Not sure what make-up you’re using there Ben, because last time I checked, make-up had come a looong way from the ‘mud and clay’ that the cave ladies might have slapped on their skin! (And incidentally, while you might associate mud and clay with ‘skin-suffocation’, any beauty enthusiast would know that they actually do the exact opposite – helping to draw out impurities and unclog your pores.) Make-up these days is so technologically advanced and well formulated that most are specifically designed to allow your skin to breath – no matter how long you want it to last. In fact, a vast majority of the make-up we buy today also contains skin-loving ingredients that not only nourish and hydrate your skin, but protect it from environmental aggressors, too. So really, wearing make-up and suffocating yourself with a pillow are about as identical as a shampoo and a foundation.
2. The Clooney effect
Now I don’t particularly like ol’ George – this a personal opinion, but I find him a little magnanimous, and furthermore he insists upon himself – but there’s no denying the effect he’s had on facial and follicular fashion. (Fully expected Spell-Check to ping me on the word follicular – which I was almost certain I’d made up – but apparently it’s legit. Weird.) Where once chaps would be reaching for the Just For Men at the first sign of a grey ghost, it’s now okay for dudes to sport salt-and-pepper hair, beards, mos and probably pubes, too. And womankind has legitimised the Clooney Effect – ‘silver foxes’ are back, yo. Look at Roger Sterling. Now that’s a man, amiright ladiez?
Deb’s debate:Can’t actually argue with you on this one, because we all know George Clooney is ‘mature man’ perfection. (And that we all secretly wish our partners would age like him).
3. Weathering
Let’s say you leave a piece of wood exposed to the elements. All that wind and rain and those animals gnawing on it at night change the appearance of that wood. They make it more complex and profound, they add lines and contours – they add character. And the older a man gets, the more he has. Sadly, the same cannot be said of women. Well actually it can, but instead of going gracefully like blokes do, many try and fight nature, gravity, genetics and plain ol’ common sense in trying to prolong a rapidly escaping youth. Seen Joan Rivers lately? She can laugh about it because she’s a 108 year-old comedian but really, it’s no laughing matter.
Deb’s debate:Ummm…have you seen Bruce Jenner lately? Or Michael Douglas? Or ‘The Hoff’? Or Mickey Rourke? My list could go on, but the point I’m making is that they’re hardly your poster-men for guys that ‘go gracefully’. No one said that striving to better yourself was a bad thing, so why should us women be made to feel like we’re the youth-stealing queen in Snow White just because we want to improve the texture and appearance of our complexions? Yeah sure, some women do go too far in their attempts to hold on to their youth, but clearly so do some men, too!
Do you think men age better than women? Do you agree with Deb or Benny’s argument?
By Benjamin Barnett
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