Mindfulness is possibly the biggest wellness trend of the last decade. The wildly popular practice counts a tonne of hugely successful celebs as fans (including icons like Jerry Seinfeld and Oprah) so you know it’s doing something right.
Promising everything from better sleep to improving attention span, there’s not many aspects of our lives it won’t enhance, including between the sheets. Yep, mindful sex is the newest mindfulness revolution, and we are SO on board.
Intrigued? We spoke to We-Vibe ambassador, sex educator and intimacy coach Georgia Grace to give us all the intimate details you need to know…
RELATED: The most Googled relationship questions answered by an expert
RELATED: All the reasons you might have lost your sex drive
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a pretty big deal right now, but the concept can be a little tricky to grasp. Georgia defines it as “a state of being conscious, present or aware of something. It’s not necessarily about being free of distracting thoughts, rather having choice over how you respond to those thoughts.”
What is sexual mindfulness?
So what does all that have to do with sex? Georgia explains, “Mindful sex is the practice of being present in the physical, emotional, psychological and erotic processes in your body. Mindful sex is a process that allows you to feel your body’s full erotic potential. It has flowed from a dramatic rise in popularity of embodied practices like yoga, tantra and meditation.”
“The Western world now has scientific evidence to prove the benefits of Eastern traditions, this proof has encouraged people to start engaging their bodies in mindful practices, and they’re feeling the benefits. For the first time human beings are able to look inside the body and brain on a neurological level, we can now see how practices like yoga, meditation, mindful masturbation and mindful sex impact our body and how it shapes brain development and the nervous system.”
How does being mindful improve sex?
It’s all about turning your brain on mute and getting in touch with your body. Georgia says sexual mindfulness improves sex because “mindfully experiencing sensation can expand your relationship with pleasure. When you bring awareness to pleasure you will feel more present and aware of the dynamic sensations occurring within your body. Sexual mindfulness can help you regulate your body, and if you’re in a relationship, it can help you co-regulate each other.”
What are some of the benefits of mindful sex?
There are a tonne of benefits to mindfulness and mindful sex, with Georgia naming these as the top five:
- Increased empathy and understanding
- Relief of stress and anxiety
- Greater connection to your body and others
- Better understanding of your desires
- Greater access to pleasure
What are some techniques to achieve mindful sex?
That all sounds pretty divine, and you don’t have to be a yogi or a seasoned meditator to get there. If you want to try out mindful sex, Georgia recommends you try out one (or, why not, all) of these activities:
- Share a few mindful breaths together.
- Create a space that feels sensual and is free from distraction.
- Eye gaze with each other as you breath, you may look down and close your eyes if it’s uncomfortable and come back to their gaze when you wish.
- Have sex that doesn’t just involve penetration. Toys are a fantastic way to explore new sensations, such as We-Vibe’s Melt (amazon.com.au, $189) – a Pleasure Air stimulator designed specifically for couples which stimulates the clitoris with pulsating air waves and gentle suction.
- Be curious. The more curious you are, the less likely you are to get caught up in the goals often associated with sex. Create a new definition of sex that works for you both.
Does mindful sex make it easier to achieve orgasm?
In short – yes. Georgia says, “mindfully experiencing sensation can help you become aware of more sensation in your body, and as a result it can increase your access to pleasure. Being mindful during sex with breath, movement, sound, touch and/or placement of awareness can help you feel more orgasmic.”
What can someone do if they have trouble getting out of their head during sex?
Now that you know you want to be more mindful in the bedroom, you might find you’re struggling to stay present. If that’s a problem you’re having, try out some of Georgia’s tips:
- Conscious breathing patterns, be aware of how you are breathing – and when you are holding your breath.
- Explore a variety in self-touch, learning about new sensation or stimulation that feels good for you
- Move and stretch, practice beyond the same position (ie on your back)
- Explore toys and new sensations
- If you don’t have much spare time, have a clear beginning and ending, it may be useful to set a timer
- Integrate with a few mindful moments
- Reflect in a way that is useful for you: Journalling, contemplating, speaking with someone.
Can mindful sex help someone feel more confident in the bedroom?
If you’re someone who struggles with shyness or body image issues during sex, mindful sex might be just what you need to make you feel more at peace during sex. Georgia says, “yes mindful sex can support you in feeling confident in your body, it can help you feel more embodied, more aware of your boundaries, more connected to your desires and how you like to be touched, it can support you in connecting with others, identifying what you like and being able to communicate that.”
Is mindful masturbation a similar practice?
Not having a sexual partner shouldn’t keep you from all those mindful orgasms we’ve been talking about – you can get them solo too. Georgia says, “yes, mindful masturbation is a similar practice – I often refer to it as solo sex. You don’t need a partner to practice sexual mindfulness, sometimes it’s even more useful to start a regular practice on your own.”
“You can do this by dedicating time and space to self-pleasure free from goals or stimuli, feel for sensation from head to toe with no rush or agenda. You may also enjoy exploring this practice with a toy, such as We-Vibe’s Wand (amazon.com.au, $269)- a body massager with playful attachments and an ergonomic design that allows you to explore full body sensations.”
bh loves: We-Vibe Nova, We-Vibe Moxie, We-Vibe Pivot
Main image credit: @sjanaelise
Follow Georgia Grace: @gspot._
Definitely best to ‘be in the moment’
Makes total sense!
I’ve reported spam- I count 3!
This is so much to remember!