17 relationship red flags you should never ignore

The health of a relationship is totally subjective, obviously. But if your partner consistently puts you down or makes you feel anything other than amazing – especially in the early days of dating – it might not be the best fit. 

Trouble is, when we want to make something work, we’re inclined to ignore red flags like these whenever they arise.

Here, 17 women share the tell-tale signs of toxic behaviour they wished they’d never, ever glossed over. Learn from their mistakes.

1. “Him saying I was a ‘real woman’ and different/better than his exes. Those comments made me feel good at the time, but then I realised it was his way of saying that actually no woman was good enough for him.” [via]

2. “The terrible sex. Obviously in the beginning you’re still working things out but if it’s still terrible after a few months despite trying your hardest to show them what you enjoy then don’t pretend it’s not a big deal when sex is a very important aspect of a healthy relationship. I pretended it was no biggie, because hey its just sex and now I’m married and our bedroom is completely dead.” [via]

3. “She was patronising and thought that saying nice things too often diminished the meaning of the words.” [via]

4. “He didn’t like me telling mutual friends about our relationship because he was a private person… Lots of other red flags but this was a big one. Turned out he was living a double life but it took me two yers and a mental breakdown to figure that out.” [via]

5. “She blamed everyone else for her problems.” [via]

6. “On the first date, he didn’t ask me any questions about myself. Glossed over. I thought: maybe he’s nervous! He wasn’t nervous. Just self-centred.” [via]

7. “Extreme jealousy. He was very romantic and charming at first, then started accusing me of infidelity and flirting with other man. Once he accompanied me to the vet because my dog was in an accident and needed surgery. He accused me of flirting with the vet, even though the vet and I were discussing my dog’s care. He has a meltdown over it later in the evening. That is only one example. Fast forward a couple of months…I find out he was still married and I was ‘the other woman’. Ew.” [via]

8. “He made me feel self conscious about silly things like singing badly in the car.” [via]

9. “His lack of respect when it came to making plans. He would ignore me for hours when I asked to make plans and would reply with “maybe”, in case his buddies wanted to do something. He had a big case of FOMO and I was never his priority.” [via]

10. “The first time he said, ‘I’m not a racist, BUT…’ News flash: he was a racist.” [via]

11. “Overly clingy to the point where he wanted me to prioritise him over everything else in my life, including my time with my family.” [via]

13. “Him being unable to deal with negative emotions, and being desperate to avoid them at all cost. This led to me neglecting my own needs, because he’d take it as personal criticism if I told him I needed something he didn’t already give me.” [via]

14. “How incredibly rude he was to his mum, who literally derailed her life to raise him as a single mum.” [via]

15. “Anger issues, ‘having a temper’, explosive outbursts of anger when things didn’t go his way, and lashing out physically and verbally when upset. Just because it hasn’t been directed at you yet, doesn’t mean you are actually safe.” [via]

16. “If the friends he hangs out with the most are assholes, he’s an asshole too. He’s just acting differently because you’re around.” [via]

17. “When your partner has no friends of their own. This will ultimately come back to bite you when your partner comes to rely on you for their social life, or when you find you cannot hang out with your now-mutual friends alone without the expectation of your partner tagging along.” [via]

Have you ever ignored your gut early on in a relationship? 

Image credit: HBO