Ever met someone and felt like everything about them just was right? Your personalities clicked, values were aligned and part of you just knew they were the one. With one tiny little catch: they lived on the other side of the world. Though yes, it’s true, distance makes the heart grow fonder, in some cases, distance can also make the heart grow apart. So what’s the difference between the long distance relationships that fail and ones that fly? Peace, preparation and a whole lot of prosecco. No, patience. We meant patience.
To give your romance the best shot at survival, here are our top tips for a thriving relationship when you can’t always physically be together.
How do you keep a long distance relationship alive?
Tip one: Always have your next trip booked
Sometimes the greatest mental toll a long distance relationship can have is the unknown of when you’ll see each other again. Ensuring you’ve always got an upcoming trip booked in your diary will act as the light at the end of the tunnel when the time feels like it’s dragging on.
Tip two: Understand how each other like to communicate
Do you like to wait for a lengthy conversation at the end of the day but your partner feels most at ease when you’re texting back and forth from the moment you wake up? These differences in communication methods and needs are a surefire way to hit trouble for any long distance lovers. Set your communication needs and preferences early and try to find a suitable middle ground.
Tip three: Get creative with your dates
When your relationship is reduced to a phone call, things can get stale real quick. Cast your mind back to the good old lockdown days and get creative. Just because you’re not physically together doesn’t mean you can’t still watch a series, cook a dinner or go for a walk together? Take it in turns to plan a date night and have fun with it.
Tip four: Over communicate
Most arguments stem from insecurity. Don’t let your partner wonder where you are, who you’re with and what you’re feeling. By keeping each other in the loop, there will be no room for assumptions or anxiety. Don’t underestimate the power of a courtesy text or call.
FAQs
What percentage of long distance relationships last?
According to a 2020 article published in the New York Post and research courtesy of bedbible.com, long distance relationships have about a 60 per cent survival rate. Not a bad stat, right? And due to the mounting pressures around trust and commitment, 37 per cent of long distance relationships break down within the first three months.
How to be mature in a long distance relationship?
The success of a long distance relationship relies on both partners having a certain level of maturity. Before committing to being in a relationship that comes with the challenges of being geographically separated, make sure you understand what’s ahead, what’s important and what’s worth fighting for.
How often should you be speaking in a long distance relationship?
There are no hard and fast rules. Some may enjoy quality communication (one lengthy catch up at the end of the day) while others prefer quantity (texting throughout the day). It depends on the relationship and the person. However, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t talk any more or less than if you were together IRL.
What kills long distance relationships?
All the same things that kill a regular relationship: lack of trust, communication, effort and care.
How to make your partner feel special in a long distance relationship?
Surprise them! Take advantage of the post and send your partner a good old love letter or care package full of their favourite goodies.
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Do you have any tips?
No I haven’t. I’ve been with my husband since I was 17. Now in my 30s.
I think like any realationship there must be Security which of course includes trust. When one person says that they are going to do or not do something then the other person needs to have the security and trust that this is what will happen. If that trust is broken and the security tampered with then its very hard for a relationship to survive.
Having those trips booked I agree gives thats light at the end of the tunnel.
Living in sydney, everything is long distance lol
Yeah , just try living in Perth LOL!
oh but your state has the best native wildflowers I hear! It’s something I plan to come over to see one day!
It’s definitely difficult. I tried it out once and it just didn’t work
not the right person -it is a testing time
Luckily haven’t had to experience this.
I think over communication is key… especially when you don’t have that physical contact most of the time,
Being the same then as a regular relationship, I’d say transparency is key.♥
Yes I agree and good open communication
I married my long distance partner.
Wow chicklet cool!!
I can just imagine how hard it would be.
I’ve never done a long-distance relationship – I don’t see the point.
Some jobs create this at certain times but if the person is worth it you get through it
Yes if the person is worth it, keep it going.
Agree, I really want someone around always.
I think you both have to trust and be honest. If your gut is saying something is wrong it probably is so be upfront about how you are feeling
Agree.
Good article, it takes a bit of effort to make it work.
I think many of those tips also apply to the partners we live with too
That’s so true! Good point!
Totally –
Choose the right person, in any relationship.
My long distance relationship didn’t work out, but it was when we were able to get together that problems emerged. He became very controlling and manipulative. Bullet dodged! 😀
Glad for you S-P you don’t need a toxic relationship.
I’ve never had one and I never will , call me clingy but I have to have my man close by.
Never say never !! My daughter has a wonderful man and he has to go to America at least 6 months a year and he keeps great contact and is such a lovely person
I’ve been in one LDR and it did not work. They claimed they were lonely and it was stressful to be so far apart and that was why they cheated.
Would avoid going this route again in the future.
Long distance means extra effort
I disagree, it’s the same amount of effort. I was in a LDR for almost 3 years and don’t feel I put in any more effort than I would have otherwise… we’re now happily married! I think it’s just if a LDR is compatible to the personality type.
Yes agree, one might become more independant and stop the extra effort.
Thanks BH for a very informative Article on Relationships it certainly takes a lot of work, especially when the Wedding Vows speak of “In Sickness and in Health” so many things can test Relationships, children and accidents and unexpected Health Conditions.
My husband has worked FIFO (Fly in fly out) twice during our 23 year marriage & it was the worst. The first time was when our children were young (6, 4 & 2) He was away for three weeks & home for one. Between the time difference & finding what little time we could around the children & his work commitments there was very little opportunity to really connect & when he did come home he just felt like he was in the way or messing up our routine, so he only lasted about 6 months before he gave it up. The second time was about 8 years ago, there wasn’t much work available locally so he felt he had no choice but to go back. We though that with the children being older it would be much easier but we were wrong & quickly decided that the money wasn’t worth it :/
Good on you both for deciding that family comes before $s.
My husband worked FIFO when we met and still goes away now
Hopefully never get into one.
I was in a LDR for almost 3 years and we’re now happily married. These are great tips.
No I haven’t, usually the opposite, could not get away from them lol. Happily single these days.
I agree with the point about over communication – really important to feel you’re a part of each other’s lives.
I’ve never been in a long distance relationship and not sure how I’d go! Thankfully I’m married so don’t have to worry about it
I have never been in a long distance relationship.
I married my long distance partner, five hours distance separated us but it was wonderful and it worked out beautifully. I guess all those tips are relevant but you just have to click.
No experience.But i feel this is hard.
I’ve done it twice & it was very hard. Could be though that I was dating a manipulative @#*&- might have had something to do with it!
Ive never done long distance relationships, i would suck at it. I can’t be constantly on my phone texting and calling my partner to check up, so i’ll come off as i dont care.
Good suggestions here, it is tough
Agree that “Over communicate” is important. If you stop talking love seems to fall apart.
I think that all the qualities that make a good relationship ie trust, loyalty, respect, truth telling, reliability, etc stand whether the relationship is long distance or not.
I have been in a long-distance relationship. Communication is key (like any other relationship).