Body cleansing comes in many forms but regardless of how you do it, the process is never pretty. Whether you choose to live off juice for a few days, try a ‘teatox’ or a lemon detox diet, cleansing can be a real struggle and an emotional rollercoaster. If you’re considering trying a cleanse, be prepared for these stages…
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Stage #1: Determination
You’ve been planning your cleanse, you’ve got the start date marked in your calendar and you’re ready to hit it head-on and follow the instructions exactly. Motivation is high and you’re looking forward to how great you’re going to feel after (according to all the reviews you’ve read online).
Stage #2: Cautious optimism
Okay, so it’s only 12pm on Day 1 but you’re feeling pretty damn good and totally smashing this cleanse thing and asking yourself why everyone always complains about them. #killingit
Stage #3: Regret
You’re starting to get hungry and lethargic, you’ve got a headache and concentrating for more than 10 minutes is laughable. That cautious optimism has become full-blown regret. Bugger.
Stage #4: Food envy
From your workmates to your flatmates and partner, you’re creeping on everyone’s meals and treats (especially treats) and it’s all so appetising. Even Judy’s weird homemade egg salad looks palatable.
Stage #5: Hanger
Sudden outbursts, uncontrollable tears, increased stress and OTT reactions. You’ve hit rock bottom and unfortunately, there’s no pizza down there.
Stage #6: Anticipation
You’re nearing the end of your cleanse and you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s so close you can almost taste the sweet, sweet relief of solid food.
Stage #7: Liberation
You’ve gone and bloody done it! The cleanse is over. You survived! That first bite of food is everything you thought it would be and more. God bless burgers, am I right? Note: most of your hard work from the cleanse is undone in Stage #7 but YOLO.
Stage #8: Smug city
You successfully completed a cleanse and you’re feeling pretty damn pleased with yourself (as you should). First step, cleanse. Second step, world domination.
If you’re feeling bloated, lethargic or in need of a cleanse, try some of these to kickstart your body naturally, inside and out!
Metamucil Orange Smooth, Swisse Chlorophyll Spearmint Liquid, Sukin Botanical Body Wash, A’Kin Kaolin Clay & Lemongrass Express Purifying Facial Masque, Blackmores Digestive Bio Balance™
Have you ever completed a cleanse before? How did you feel afterwards?
