If there’s one thing us ladies can all relate to, it’s that (dreaded but necessary) time of the month where our baby maker decides to turn on us. I once read getting your period is like your uterus just spent the last month getting the baby’s room ready, only to find out you didn’t get pregnant and instead trashes the entire house out of anger. I don’t know about you, but I’d say that’s pretty accurate. And so are these common thoughts women have during their period…
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BEFORE
#1 Everything is annoying me
Why are you chewing so loud? Can you please change the TV channel? Stop leaving the toilet seat up. Make me dinner. Maybe we should go out. No, I don’t know what I feel like eating. Don’t touch me. I need a hug.
Oh, our poor friends and family.
#2 I’m a day late… yep, I’m pregnant
It’s been exactly 31 days since I last got my period. My period is rarely ever on time, but I’m still going to google symptoms and convince myself I’m 100 per cent pregnant.
#3 Why does it feel like I’m being stabbed?
Sharp stabbing pains just below your hip bones are usually a pretty good indication that your period is on its way. Get your Panadol and heat pack ready.
DURING
#4 Please don’t make me get out of bed
It’s warm and I can sleep away the pain. I want to stay here for the rest of my life.
#5 But… my uterus hurts?
Why aren’t cramps a legitimate excuse to take a sick week off work?
#6 Tears
So. Many. Tears. And usually for no good reason at all. Insert all of the crying face emojis here.
#7 Do you have a spare tampon?
I keep a pack in my bathroom, a pack in my car, a pack in my handbag, a pack at work – and somehow I still manage to never have a tampon when I need one.
#8 Where did this pimple come from?
And it’s not just any pimple. It’s always a big, inflamed, cystic one, smack bang in the middle of your chin. I recommend a week of Netflix and chill until it calms itself down. Making a Murderer, anyone?
#9 I want to eat the entire contents of my fridge
Give me everything I shouldn’t be eating. I’ll down all the healthy things too, if I must.
AFTER
#10 I’m suddenly in a good mood
Try to annoy me now by chewing too loud, my dear boyfriend/mother/best friend.
#11 Yahoo – it’s over!
No more pain, no more bloated tummy, no more tampons – it’s party time!
Do any of the above thoughts sound familiar? What other problems do you encounter during that time of the month?
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